Field Report Operative Biscuit 1 - For the eyes of the president only

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Operator: Point
Codename: “Biscuit”
Workstation ID#: 3-P894712
Date of Report: November 23, 2010
Time of Report: 0410 Hours
I am an expert and have used automatic weapons to take out plenty of worthless fucks from the sandy deserts to the shitty jungles. In the wise words of Kid Rock, “it ain’t cocky, motherfucker, if you back it up…” 
Always with me in the field are Charlene and Jane. Charlene is my silenced MP5 with red dot holographic sights, that spits out 9mm rounds in those beautiful 3 round bursts. 
Jane is my .308 custom made, self-designed and self-manufactured automatic firearm that would make Mr. Glock proud.
I do have to admit that I do cheat on Charlene and Jane from time to time with Nelly, my custom Ruger P95. Talk shit. I don’t care. It gives me wood.